A breakup does not only remove a person from daily life. It can interrupt plans, familiar rituals and a picture of how you thought your life might look a little further ahead.

This is one reason the pain can feel larger than it “should”. You do not have to measure it. It may help to notice what you are actually missing: the person, closeness, certainty, the plan, or several of these at once.

Separating these losses does not diminish the relationship. It can simply give you a clearer sense of what needs time, what needs acceptance and what may eventually be rebuilt in another form.

A useful question can be: “Which parts of the future I imagined are still mine, and which only existed inside this relationship?”