When somebody does not choose us, the mind may search for a total explanation: I was not interesting enough, attractive enough, important enough, easy enough or strong enough.

Another person’s decision, however, comes from their own history, needs, timing and the dynamic between two people. It is not a neutral test of your value.

The pain needs room. It does not need to become a verdict on who you are.

When “I am not enough” appears, try replacing it with something more accurate: “this did not develop the way I hoped, and it hurts.” Accuracy is kinder than condemnation.