Some mistakes continue returning to our mind long after the event. The mind replays the scene as if enough analysis might somehow change the past.

Forgiving yourself is not the same as excusing yourself. It can include acknowledgement, apology, repair and changed behaviour.

After that, however, you also need permission to live beyond the mistake. Otherwise punishment continues without adding anything to responsibility.

One difficult question can be: “if someone I loved had done the same thing and genuinely changed, would I ever allow them to move forward?”