Self-reflection is useful when it helps us see a behaviour more clearly. It becomes less useful when “I did something I regret” turns into “I am a person who does not deserve anything good”.

Responsibility needs specific language: what I said, what I avoided, what I could have done differently. Self-punishment tends to use absolute labels and rarely shows us a meaningful next step.

You can recognise your part without taking ownership of the entire story. In relationships, families and conflicts, more than one reality often exists at the same time.

Ask yourself: “What do I want to learn from this?” and then “what small action would make that learning visible?” Change needs direction, not humiliation.